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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Overthinker's anonymous' LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 24th, 2005
6:39 am
What is it that keeps us awake?

What is it that brings us back from sleep? Back from the dead, in a way. It’s like that, isn’t it? With the loss of conscious thought, aren’t you in a sense dead, to return to the world in the morning? I just finished watching I, Robot. As the credits started scrolling, I lay back my head and began to lose conscious thought.

Thoughts were still going through my head as I dozed off. It was simply that I wasn’t consciously monitoring these thoughts. They were probably completely at random, at the mercy of chance as to which thought followed which. Then one of the thoughts presented itself as having far more priority.

I think it was that these thoughts, random isolated strings, were just twisting through my peripheral consciousness, if you will, as I fell asleep. Each thought has an accompanying priority. Use any scale you wish, I suppose, yellow/red alert, defcon status, terror alert level, what have you. Most of these thoughts were low-level priority, things that I can/could come back to later, at my leisure. Things which I’d be sure to think about again sometime in the next couple days. Maybe even things important in the scope of the next 24 hours, but for the moment dismissible because in the natural course of events I’d come across them again anyway.

And then things of immediate, absolute importance. Like, for instance, if I realized I was falling asleep in the girls room on a school trip where no guys were allowed in the girls room (and vice versa), or if I suddenly remembered that I have an online quiz due in two hours, etc.

I don’t even remember for sure what it was that I remembered. But this thought yanked me out of near-sleep. Of course, I don’t think you can ever be aware that you’re losing awareness. I think it can happen pretty quickly. But at that moment, I certainly became aware of having lost my awareness. It was kinda crazy, like coming up for air. As awareness returned, and with it conscious thought and a conscious record of my thoughts, I could almost feel myself coming back, as though I’d been away. It felt like I was pulling up out of a tunnel/ditch/hole in the ground. I was rising up out of a tunnel of consciousness, trying to quickly grasp, before I lose it, the sensation, the feeling, open it and explore it.

All those minor ruminations flew away. Even the thought that brought me back soon vanished. I think it was just that I remembered where I was - about to fall asleep on a couch with the lights and tv on, this girl also fallen asleep next to me, when there were perfectly good beds upstairs.
Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
10:55 pm
inner struggles... (a long one and maybe cross posted)
i struggle greatly with a conflict with in my personalityCollapse )

Current Mood: busy
Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
1:11 pm
Hey...where's all the activity in this community, huh?

I'm Jazmine, and I overthink everything!! :) I think everyone knows that already.

Anyway just saying hi and wondering where the party is?! LOL, just kidding.

Current Mood: awake
Friday, February 18th, 2005
5:04 am
She's for Real
Ooooooooooh my freakin' goodness.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . I was just thinking. I forgot what had started it, something on TV, but it led to a train [train of thought, that is] about my adings. It must have been a commercial about an action movie, cause I started thinking up a crazy adventure scenario - standard procedure, someone threatens the safety of my pals, or of the world, and me and my pals go to work saving it. Like in a movie, and we've got these powers(so do the bad guys) and at some point my ading Janis discovers her hidden abilities and joins in.

Yeah, I've read much too much sci-fi. And seen too much X-Men.

So this train linked over to one of my youngest (biological) sister. Cause in this movie there'd be a stirring emotional scene of being proud of my sister. That made me think of Ruth. I often think of both of them together cause they have the same birthday. (Janis is my "little sister" at school - ading is Tagalog for 'little sibling,' a Filipino language. Ruth is my biological sister)

And I thought of when I was 13, don't know why but I did. And realized my sister's only now two years away from that. Two years! She's freakin' eleven! Why is this special? Well, I'm thinking of myself at 13, and I sure was something. Not as in cocky, but I certainly felt smart and mature. I felt like a real person. And yet, being now 20 and a half, I sure don't take any 13-year-olds seriously. Who is a 13-year-old to me now? Noone! I can't even think of a 13-year-old that I know.

Not to put them down or emphasize too much the difference between them and me. The point is, I was, as far as I knew, a complete entity, whole. The first inklings of a budding maturity. Not my first memories by far, but probably my first memories of me as myself, of doing things not just cause I was told to, but being able to consider my own motivations, plus past events, equaling multiple strings of possibilty/consideration, moving into the future to form my final decision. What's that mean? Where's my sister? She's getting near there herself. She must be nearing this point. She's turning into a real person.

Current Mood: somethin like awe and surprise
Thursday, December 9th, 2004
2:55 am
Here's a post I made earlier today in my own journal. I looked at it and thought it might have a place here. Some of it's thinking about self-actualization and education, but some of it's a bit of just my own ranting, so I just put a link instead of the whole thing in case it doesn't really fit here.

Friday, October 29th, 2004
4:23 pm
infinity vs. time
There was this topic on infinity versus time, which I was discussing today, to which you can think about. Ther argument was: Infinity can exist as a number, but as this vast concept with no beginning or end, it cannot. This is because if it did, there would be no such thing as time. A second would be infinite, because according to Physics, everything can continually be divided into halves. It would be perpetual motion!
It's interesting, it's very hard to articulate, but if you think you know what I mean, offer it some thought. However, now that I think about it, time is current within infinity, which is the constant. What he was trying to argue was that infinity existed within time itself.
Thank ye for listening,

Current Mood: bemused
Monday, October 25th, 2004
1:21 pm
I wish I could just let things go, but no I make myself lose sleep over something that probably is nothing. Quite thinking about it when it was yesturday and today there isn't anything that can be done about it. If it were a problem, it would of been brought to my attention yesturday, which hasn't, so quit thinking about it. DAH.

Current Mood: stressed
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
9:21 pm
Somewhat related to the last post by siukong

An interesting phenomenon happened near the beginning of this school semester. I suspect it was because of the intercession at the end of summer right before. Over the break I'd had not much else to do so I was updating quite a bit; at least once a day and three times some nights! Those two weeks perhaps raised the average of the whole month of August to about an entry a day. So what happened was that, well, something was happening, I forgot what it was. But right after I started documenting - mentally I started making a journal entry, like I was dictating to myself how I would type it later. Or like I was reading for a book on tape. Took me a minute or two to realize what I was doing. It was strange, that this journalizing thing had taken a hold of me.

I'll do it every once in a while now, automatically start documenting it, but then I never get around to putting it down, or not till a month later when I remember it. It's like I've already put it down, so no need to go online and post. This might cause me to post less often.
Monday, October 18th, 2004
2:09 pm
What I thought was really funny, today I was overanalyzing, how people view my overanalyzing, and how much of a hinderance it actually was. It was annoying me, and I think that I probably do annoy other people with my analytical self. Is there any way to stop?!
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
12:03 am
why I think there are so few updates on here
I know for me personally, I've always had trouble having my writing and/or typing keep up with my thought process. Once I've articulated what I want to say (and I take a long time to do this since I'm a huge perfectionist when it comes to self-expression), my brain has shot ahead of me and gone on to a handful of other thoughts. The whole thing becomes an exercise in futility.

Does this happen to any of you guys?
Sunday, October 10th, 2004
2:51 am
hey everyone.. i'm making a mix cd to help me get over someone.. and i was wondering if any of you have suggestions? two songs that i'm feeling closely related to is "cryin'" by aerosmith & "stupid" by sarah mclachan.

any suggestions would be appreciate to help this heart of mine.

</3 [crossposted; i apologize if this can't be posted -- tell me &i'll delete it]
Friday, September 17th, 2004
6:30 pm
After i've done something or talked to somebody i found myself still thinking about that. It has a big influence on me. I keep thinking why i said sth to sb. Maybe i should have said that....hmmm, that what, i don't know. I think about different options. Maybe things would be different right now, if i gave chance to my friend, who so much in love with me. But i simply couldn't. He irritates me, and we both agred that we would fight all the time. Which is not good for relationship. Sometimes i think so much that i start to believe that some circumstances will take place. I like to dream a lot as well.

Current Mood: lethargic
7:25 am
HAHA! Thank you so much for this community! It's only recently I've been gradualyl realizing that I do an absurd amount of thinking. I've been toying around recently with a theory that intelligence is largely the obsessive over-analyzation of everything and everyone. At all times. I've even caught myself thinking about thinking! I don't think I overtalk often but when I am feeling talkative I like to thin kthat talk is cheap so you have to use a lot of it.
Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
6:10 pm
Has anyone ever
Has anyone ever thought of something that happened in the passed and it pissed you off then...and when you think about it now... it still pisses you off? Jeeze. I hate that.

AND I hate my ex Landlord... I am SO glad to have moved out.
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
3:49 pm
Sleeping patterns.
I have less than a month of summer left, and I know that sooner than later I need to change my sleeping patterns. It's hard to change my sleeping patterns when my mind is constantly on the run. I guess reading organic chemistry does not solve that problem. However, I figure I am going to be up late most nights reading o-chem, so I may as well get into the swing of things now. But the only difference is that I have to wake up much earlier when school is in session. My first class is at 8:00 AM, which is my psychobiology class. 8:00 classes are a bitch, but I know I will like psychobiology.
Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
11:33 am
Wow you guys do think too much.

my problem is, i like thinking too much, but if i dont write things down, i tend to forget what thought of, so i get a headach, and am left with nothing to show for it.

I pump out questionairs everyday, if any of you need to feed on some brain activity. thanks for having me.
6:50 pm
I'm an overthinker too.. I can think sometimes about things which could be stupid to think about for others. For example couple years ago i was thinking why cat is called cat etc. Now i'm overthinking my life in London, and i'm wondering what would have happened if i didn't do this or that. And i'm done for a whole night sometimes ;)

Current Mood: contemplative
4:41 am
Even Rockaway Lanes cant' save me
I went bowling this past weekend in the most trashy bowling alley in New Jersey, and felt a little out of place drinking old coffee and trying to lift these massive spheres that weigh about as much as me, or so it seemed when I attempted to lift them through a cloud of thick cigarette smoke. This has to be one of the most un-intellectual activities I have ever encountered.

But then I started thinking about the velocity of the ball, and the ration between the speed of the ball and the impact upon the pins, then I started to try to assume the weight of the pins...and it was all over for me.
Monday, August 30th, 2004
10:40 pm
hello, this is my first post in a community, so sorry if I break any etiquette that I don't know about. (by the way, if you do a friends-only post in a community does it show up for everyone who's a member?)

School is starting a week from tomorrow. there's so much I should be doing to prepare, since it's my final year of high school. But I find myself unable to do anything. I'm in denial that I'm once again running out of time. In fact, I've become paralyzed and end up wasting my days away more than ever. As an excuse to not go to the summer school review courses they were offering, I told my parents I'd review on my own, but I've yet to touch any of my filed away schoolwork from last year. I was supposed to do some preparation for SAT, even though I very much doubt I'll end up doing an undergrad in an American university (after all, there's perfectly good ones here), but it's only in the past few days that I've started reading one of the library books I had, and that's just because it was overdue and on hold. I wanted to get in shape to get ready for the sports teams I plan to join, but I've only worked out a handful of times. I wanted to do a bunch of volunteering to make up for the fact that I have virtually no job experience, but in that too, I've taken barely any action. I don't mean to whine, just point out how much I've procrastinated, yet still can't find anything to motivate myself into action.

I'll end it at that, although there is so much more I'm thinking about right now. In fact, I'm sure this is the most confused period in my life so far.

Just so you know, I customarily include a weird/interesting picture and link with each of my posts.
The human mannequin. Watch the videos, and read about some of his experiences. Strange.

Current Mood: thoughtful
7:00 pm
hi everybody!! i'm an overthinker. and an overtalker. and most unfortunately (for you) an overtyper. haha. so. since i update too much i just might switch over and update once or twice in here instead. don't feel obligated to read it. i just feel obligated to type and consequently post it. cause i love to talk. haha.

but - just wanted to say hi. and. i am in love with my music. i seriously cannot stop thinking and/or talking about it. though talking usually infers thinking...i feel overobsessed though, and i think one reason is cause it's always crammed in my head and restrained to my life! i know two other people who like them - one's out of town for six weeks and the other i just met. and i don't speak german so well and he doesn't speak english so well. hah. but ugh, it's something i want to be able to share with somebody just cause it makes me so goddamn happy - and it really m akes me think, too. (wonderful, eh?)

but you guys know what i mean? it doesn't just apply to music. anything that's wonderful and you love you want to share with somebody else. ok, now i'm just bitching. sorry. =)

anyways - haha, there's my "hello." couldn't even just say hi. =P

omg this song is so appropriate to that about which i just was talking!! i love when that happens...

Current Mood: ausgesperrt
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